Contentment.

I’ve been feeling a lot of feelings recently, as one does. They have been all over the place some days and consistent the next. If I get all existential, it’s really just the human experience. The thing though that is new and greatly appreciated, is that underneath it all I feel a sort of calm and certainty. It is hard to describe as I don’t feel certain about what I’m going to do with my life or where I going to live. Specific things are always fluctuating. But I feel a general sense that everything will work itself out. Most likely not how I envisioned, and that is perfectly alright and a valid way for things to happen. But I will get to wherever I am going at whatever pace I get there. That’s not to say that  don’t have goals or things I would like to accomplish. Rather it is being open to possibilities and opportunities as they arise, being able to adapt to new situations and problems, to allow things to happen naturally but still stay focused and look at big picture. Focused goals with flexible manifestations, as someone once phrased it. I think this perspective has really helped me to become less anxious and stressed. I don’t feel constantly weighed down by the crippling fear of the future that has plagued me so much in the past. Of course I still have those feelings but I can address them and overcome them much quicker and efficiently than before. Getting to this place has been years in the making but I think that I am coming to a place where I can really start trying to better myself and my surrounds and have faith that I will be alright.

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